Sure, I knew her. Thick as spammers,
she and I.
Ruthy Ribbit. The only honest email sender in this place.
And she was the only critter to ever escape.
The spam folder.
Just a pound run on algorythmic rules, always changing. Always adapting.
Catching bad senders like us. Same old spam, different day.
No hope of release. Ol’ Pokey here, he’s been trying to dig his way out for 29 days.
Some of us in here. Sure, we actually might be guilty of spam. Mr Jingles, he sold cold email lists.
pretended he was a prince from a far away land, giving away inherited jewels.
While others...they were stuck here out of sheer bad practice.
Lucille’s ip reputaton
Jake. He didn’t think authenticating
with DKIM was all that important.
DKIM isn't THAT important, right?
And Ruthy Ribbit? Well, she was only ever guilty of using ribbit.ly links
in her email.
Sure, I believe Ruthy was innocent.
She wasn’t trying to do nothing more than send a basic transactional email. But this place. It’ll getcha.
It was a password reset,
by the way. Ruthy’s email. Well. I’m sure by now that link has expired.
How’d Ruthy escape in the end? Some say she dug free using nothing but a spork.
Others say that she was pulled free
by the hand of the recipient itself.
Me? Well. Let’s just say some frogs aren't meant to be caged.