Postmark Express - Dun Dun Dunning

Read along as old Blue reminisces about his dear friend.

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An old tired pup named Blue sitting in a dark and drab cell

Sure, I knew her. Thick as spammers, she and I.

Ruthy Ribbit happily delivering emails across the vast wild west

Ruthy Ribbit. The only honest email sender in this place.

The dreaded spam folder pound

And she was the only critter to ever escape.

A messy complicated machine trying to detect spammy emails

The spam folder. Just a pound run on algorythmic rules, always changing. Always adapting.

Spammers stuck in a cell looking at an old pup holding the keys

Catching bad senders like us. Same old spam, different day.

A dog digging a hole in the ground

No hope of release. Ol’ Pokey here, he’s been trying to dig his way out for 29 days.

A mouse pulling cold email lists out of a freezer

Some of us in here. Sure, we actually might be guilty of spam. Mr Jingles, he sold cold email lists.

A fancy fish dressed as a prince holding jewels

Fil phisher pretended he was a prince from a far away land, giving away inherited jewels.

A young pup sitting in a pile of bulk emails

And ol Ube? He sent unsolicited bulk emails offering discounted scratches behind the ear.

A sheep trying to deliver an email running from a spam sniffing dog

While others...they were stuck here out of sheer bad practice. Lucille’s ip reputation was poor.

A crow holding an email contemplating whether they should use DKIM

Jake. He didn’t think authenticating with DKIM was all that important.

DKIM isn't THAT important, right?

Ruthy sadly looking at her email in an old crusty cell

And Ruthy Ribbit? Well, she was only ever guilty of using links in her email.

Old blue sitting in his dark drab cell deep in thought

Sure, I believe Ruthy was innocent.

Ruthy sadly looking out of her locked cell door

She wasn’t trying to do nothing more than send a basic transactional email. But this place. It’ll getcha.

A melted clock with broken links in the background

It was a password reset, by the way. Ruthy’s email. Well. I’m sure by now that link has expired.

A hole can be seen behind a poster. A spork lying next to some dirt on the ground.

How’d Ruthy escape in the end? Some say she dug free using nothing but a spork.

A hand clicking a Move to Inbox button on one side, and an email being delivered on the other

Others say that she was pulled free by the hand of the recipient itself.

Ruthy on a tropical beach at sunset next to a boat

Me? Well. Let’s just say some frogs aren't meant to be caged.

The end!

Writing & Story

Jordan Dibb

Art & Design

Derek Rushforth


Bettina Specht

Technical Facts

Anna Ward


Clark Fulton